Saturday, August 13, 2011

IBA 282, 401, & 440

# 282 - A blog how-to:  Describe a technical problem you encountered with your blog and how you resolved it.

I do not believe there is anything I have encountered anything that I wanted to do but could not.  I suppose that means that I know either what I am doing or just have not come across anything “cool” to try to make my blog do.

# 401 - How to look good naked

Apparently it is a “How to” kind of day for me!  I honestly have a horrible self-image, so this is something I struggle with daily if not more often!  I opt for the “he sees me naked all the time and hasn’t ran out of the room crying yet!” approach here.  Guys (at least my guy) almost never notice anything I do to “look” different, I think the only reason he notices when I get my haircut is because he is normally there at the same time getting his cut too!  So, it really doesn’t matter whether I have waxed something new or gone and sunbathed myself to a bright pink color (I don’t tan), he thinks I look good no matter what and I usually think I look horrible no matter what.  So, I compromise with an “it doesn’t matter” sort of outlook on it. 

I’m not good at “How To” guides…the only one I ever did in school was “How to give an insulin injection”.  I was good at that one, as I should be…I only gave it about 10 times between 5th grade and 12th (and once or twice in college)!  So, I’ll try for one more topic that I can hopefully throw myself into and come up with something worth reading and thinking about!

# 440 - TAKE IT BACK! WTF?! Fishnet stockings for kids? The Shake Weight?

Okay…as for the examples given for this one…fishnets should not be a fashion accessory!  They should be used solely for catching fish!  Making them for kids?  Yeah, that should be outlawed…  That being said though, they do serve a purpose and I have owned one single, solitary pair of fishnets in my entire life.  At the “ripe old age of 12 (possibly 13-15)”, I owned a pair of red fishnet tights.  As I was a heavier child, when we went hunting for Halloween costumes, I never had a chance to shop in the “kid’s” costume section, those were just way too small for me!  So, what I was left with was either making a costume from what I had at home or purchasing an adult sized costume.  Now, I don’t know if anyone has ever noticed…but the adult costumes are designed for those “adults only” parties that are reminiscent of what you see on TV for a circa 1970’s swingers party…not something any kid should be wearing (or adult for that matter)!  So, back to my red fishnets…we had decided one year to buy “devil” costumes (my best friend and I), we went shopping together and since we didn’t want to “match”, she purchased the long black “witch” version and I got the decidedly shorter red “devil” costume!  Of course, I was much shorter than the intended adults that would have bought the same dress…so it at least came down to an acceptable length on me!  But, October in the high desert of Central Oregon can get very cold, so I went with fishnets to at least try and cover some of the bare leg I was sporting.  It looked great!  This is the costume I still dream of finding one similar to!  I looked good in it!  Now though, as I am still decidedly bigger than your “average adult” according to the costume manufacturers, this same outfit would fit me like a tight fitting t-shirt and cover about as much…

On the issue of fishnets being a fashion accessory (kids or adults), leave them or the Halloween parties…don’t wear them out the rest of the year, they just make you look “cheap and easy”!  That look is not what any little kid (we’ll call the little ones anything under 21 years old for this) should be giving the world!

Now, the Shake Weight…oh how this thing makes me laugh!  There are now two versions of this, um, piece of exercise equipment…the original women’s version (shown here on Ellen, sound cuts out at 2:24, but it is still funny…I happened to catch the show the morning this aired!) and the newer men’s version (also shown here on Ellen)!  I am a little surprised the company chose to mass market this thing as an exerciser and skip right over the adult toy market!  Although, if it really worked like all the commenters (on the men’s version video) said…I suspect they would pick it up and run with it like the Hitachi.  I have seen these in stores like Wal-Mart and Best Buy and have the “pleasure” of picking one up and holding it in my hands.  They are surprisingly heavy!  I would guess it is a 10-pound weight wrapped in all that white plastic!  It was also hard to keep a hold of, as the shifting of the weights made it try to “escape” my grip every time I shifted my hand, even slightly!

But then again, I am a sucker for the infommercialized products…I have two sets of “Perfect Fit Buttons”, and both sets I bought were the “deluxe” that came with two buttons in each color choice!  They are basically a pants button on a tack so that you can adjust the waistband of pants (and jeans) that are too big or too small, they also work great if you are missing a button.  If you have these though, be certain to remove them before the items go in the wash!  The little back on the tack cover (that is against your skin) will not survive the washing machine!  The welds (or whatever they used to connect the piece) are not very strong and I have lost the back of three buttons now after accidental washings.  They came in “jeans” color, which is a silver colored button with text on it, like most buttons on jeans, “brown”, “khaki” (which is a yellowy cream color), and “black”.  The last three colors all look like someone just poured a bit of liquid enamel or plastic in them, they don’t look “bad”, but I tend to not use them as they stand out like a sore thumb.  Of course, the “instructions” do say to cover these buttons with a shirt or belt so no one is the wiser that you have let your pants out a bit!  As I have been losing weight sometimes faster than I can purchase new clothing, I have used these many times to “shrink” a pair of pants so that they do not fall down as I walk.  It works, but beware of the “pucker”!  You cannot take several inches of material in and not expect a fold to appear!  I may tri adding these to the sides of my pants next time to move the pucker away from my front belly area…but I do not expect that to work out well.

I have tried Depil Silk as well…or at least the face cream portion of it.  This “miracle” no shave hair remover says it smells nice…yep, if you like the smell of chemicals and burning hair!  Pain free?  Okay, maybe…but sure as heck not “itch free”!  Almost as soon as I put this stuff on, it began to itch and burn ever so slightly.  I did manage to go the entire recommended length of time for “stubborn hair” as the first test yielded no results, but I was very happy to get it over with!  The result?  Not one hair was even missing!  All the hair in my test area was still sitting there, happy in their defeat of this new “miracle” product!  I have yet to try the “body” spray version…  The face portion of the box was the size and shape of a small mascara tube and the applicator was a lip-gloss wand with a fuzzy padded end.  The instructions said to apply a thick layer and if it started to dry, you did not put it on thick enough.  What came out of the tube though was anything but thick!  With each removal of the wand, the mascara tube design of the bottle wicked most of the product back into itself and the wand had little to no product on it!  It was very hard to work quickly and manage what the instructions said to do!  I may like the application of the spray bottle for legs and such, but I will need to try it when I know I will not have to get up and put bottoms on for a few days.  The last time I tried a new no shave product, I had a severe reaction and ended up with a chemical burn covering both legs from my ankles to mid-thigh!

Good or bad, we actually own several infomercial items…better known as the “as seen on TV” stuff!  My most recent purchase was a “coffee caddy” that is a plastic stand that the coffee pot sits on and has rollers so that you can easily pull it out from under the counter to fill and get ready for use without the hassle of dragging the pot around.  It is really more of a gimmick type item, but I bought it at Ross’ for around $4, so it was worth the price.

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