Wednesday, August 17, 2011

IBA #514, 234, & 149

Today’s randomly selected “theme” seems to be marriage related.  I think it is quite amusing how they randomly “group up” on me like that!  At any rate, I have been married before, but am not married now.  So, for the first question, I’ll use that marriage, but for the second, I will use my current relationship, since it also the longest relationship I have ever been in and also more relevant to the question anyway.

# 514 - If you could re-plan your wedding, what would you do differently now?

I would change everything about my wedding!  The wedding colors were hideous and I was forced into them by my soon to be (who is now my ex) husband.  The colors?  Well, I started out with a brighter midnight blue (I found a bridesmaid’s dress and fell in love with the color) and a lighter pale green.  My vision of the blue soon was twisted into the gaudiest of bright blues…nothing like what I had originally chosen and my pale green turned into Forest green before my very eyes!  Yes…bright blue and forest green…yuck!  The only thing I was happy about during the planning process was my venue.  Even that was twisted around on me and instead of having a nice little outdoor wedding and an indoor reception, everything was jammed inside the building and plans were made for guests to be shoved out one door only to return through a different door to “greet” us.  The music was the one DJ we went to interview…I did not much care for him either.

The cake, now there’s a “fun” story…I went to a bridal expo (or rather my soon to be ex and I went) and found an awesome baker, however, again, everything got twisted around until my wedding cake was going to consist of four different flavored cakes (Lemon poppy seed with an Apple filling being one of them).  It was a tired cake, but the tiers each had their own stand and the “plan” was to cut sections of each layer and give guests their choice.  I would have rather just gone with one flavor and those that did not like it (my Grandmother hates white cake with Raspberry filling) could just skip the cake in my opinion!

My dress, this is probably the only thing my soon to be ex had no say in!  Nevertheless, he had my mother there…it always felt like they were working as a team against me!  I settled on a dress (that is currently hanging in my front closet because it is the only space large enough to contain the thing), that at the time I liked…but did not love it.  Now, of course, I do not even want to look at the thing!

Other things that really bothered me…  I was on vacation in Florida with my best friend and while I was gone, first, my STBE (shorter than typing it out again and again) changed the date (twice)!  Then, he and my Mother made a trip to Michael’s (the craft store) and found pillar candles for “a really good price” and bought out the freaking store!  Mind you, I had arranged for an afternoon wedding…the entire thing was supposed to start after lunch and end before dinner!  No candles needed!  However, there I was, stuck again with boxes and boxes and boxes of giant, ugly, pillar candles as table decorations!  They were not even nice candles!  They were the kind that are white and then dipped in colored wax to make them looks pretty as long as you don’t burn them!  Instead of just getting nice plastic plates and flatware, they went and found a good sale on clear glass sets of dishes (less than $1 per piece), but honestly, what was I going to do with 200 glass plates after the fact?

Of course, the single most thing I would like to change if I could do my entire wedding over would be the groom.  If and when we ever decide to get married, we aren’t going to be doing a big wedding…my idea of a good time this time would be a nice trip with maybe a friend or two, get married “on location”, finish up out trip turned honeymoon and come home with a party all set up and ready to go within a few days of getting home.  Obviously, everyone would have to know what we were doing on our vacation, but there would not be the hassle of trying to organize a huge wedding “event”.  I have an extremely large family, so a small wedding was never part of the equation.

# 234 - Write about WHY you stay married together.

Hmm…”because we love each other” just doesn’t seem like the answer the author of this question was looking for, does it?  My other half and I “work” well together.  We have similar interests, we make each other laugh, all that “stuff”.  I don’t know…we have never really questioned our relationship!

# 149 - If you could pick one day to relive in your life, which would it be & why?

I really don’t think I have a day in my life that I would like to relive.  There are plenty of days I would like to go back and change though!  As for the “why” part of this one…because I have happy memories and if I went back to relive them, I may notice things were not as great as I remember them to be.  That would ruin a happy memory for me. 

Many things we remember so fondly from childhood, I suspect, are because we do not have all of the information as to what is really going on.  In my own adult life, there have been “tough” months were bills were almost everything we (my other half) brought in for the month.  The grocery budget was extremely tight and we had to resort to “let’s see what we can eat for dinner using the items we already have in the house” for a few weeks or all month.  I suspect that we all have these months at some point in our childhoods too; I can remember some interesting dinners as a kid!  I was blissfully unaware that it was (most likely) do to the budget being so tight that we could not afford to buy food for the week or month.  I wouldn’t want to go back and give up that “happy” feeling with my own understanding that I have now!

So…I am perfectly happy to simply stay in the moments I have now and look fondly (and some not so fondly) on my memories from the past 31 years!

Wedding planning book links since it is the only thing even slightly relevant to today's topics!

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